Installing Husband...

Installing Husband...

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 'n I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower 'n jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 'n Personal Attention 6.5, 'n then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 'n CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, 'n Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman



She got a reply back from the Technical Support Guy.



DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: i thought you loved me. html 'n try to download Tears 6.2 'n do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 'n Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting 'n Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications 'n will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory 'n cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory 'n performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 'n Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support

Interesting...! Online chatting...

Online Chatting...

A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat.

(Background, both are s/w engineers by the way 'n both work for real big

MNC's )

Hero: Hey..!! GM (Good Morning)... How's you doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good 'n it got better having found you on chat

Hero: wow...Am honored, you know what,

My day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some

Coffee.

Hero: OK(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his

seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,

given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if

I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs 'n stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to

Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking

stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number;

given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know

it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Urmail in an hour from now.

ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED YOU WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM.. !! 'n ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

OLD STORY v/s INDIAN VERSION.. !

OLD STORY v/s INDIAN VERSION :P
{little bit lengthy, bt u gonna njoy dt}

An Old Story:

The Ant wrks hard in d withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.


Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Govt invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India,

..AND

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers,

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India is still a developing country !!!